*Banagram memories* (7)

Those who are the devotees of Gurumaharaj, especially the old ones, may feel a little bad for addressing Gurumaharaj as a “man”, “person” or “saint”. But this is being done only to explain my mentality at that time. I didn’t have the mind to think of someone as a ‘Great man’ or someone ‘Special’ quickly, at that time. Especially I did not think someone as a ‘God’!!! I used to believe Kali, Krishna, Durga, Shiva, as the ‘God’ and I thought also that Ramakrishna, Bamdev, Sri Chaitanya etc. may be the ‘God’ because they are no longer in their physical body. But someone,who is still alive __how could I think him as a God??? I never used to believe that ! Let’s come back to the main point. The day before, ‘there was a great sitting'(at Gangababu’s house_ Shibpur, Howrah) – this was said by the devotees of Singur. I forgot to mention that several devotees came from Singur that day. Among them Anupada’s brother Babu, Sabyasachi Manna, Papu, and a couple of women were also present. However, I first learned that day, those kind of discussion is called as ‘sitting’. In the next morning I woke up and heard that Gurumaharaj would leave in the morning. He would leave as soon as Trishanda(now Swami Parameshwarananda) comes. My elder brother(Gangababu) told me – “You won’t go anywhere in the morning. Go to the bus-stand and you have to keep two or three seats for Guruji in the bus. You should be leave a little earlier and keep the seats for them at one of the minibuses that leaves from Shibpur bus-stand, and give the seats to them when they will come.” No sooner Trishanda had come than I went out. ‘Shibpur Tram Depot to Dharmatala Via Howrah’_ minibuses leave at the intervals of 15 munites. When I went I was sitting in one of these buses, was keeping three seats. As the bus left – I was getting down and was keeping three seats in another bus again. After doing this three or four times, I got annoyed. At that time I used to think that I wasn’t an ordinary someone – I was studying Costing then after passing BSc –at the same time I was admitted in ‘Spoken English Course’ at Goalpark Ramakrishna Mission, I was also associated with a chartered firm, moreover I was then tutioning in many rich families and so on ! Now whether I have to do such a bad thing!! And I was also wondering what was the matter? Why were they so late?? Finally I saw Guruji to get down from a rickshaw with Trishanda and Biplab. I kept three seats in a minibus for them. So I was trying to attract their attention by waving my hand through the window, but they didn’t even notice. Gurumaharaj was continuously talking with Trishanda. I could keep only one seat by putting my handkerchief on the bus-seat but to keep three seats I had to sit there . So I couldn’t get down. However, my hard work paid off – Biplab(I knew the name that day. He was also with Guruji and Trishanda) saw me and called them and brought them to the bus . Biplob got on the bus. But the rest two didn’t finish their talking. They started talking in front of the bus again ! Impatiently, I told Biplobada to keep the seats and got down. [ It is not my life’s aim, to Keep a bus-seat for a ‘man’, and it is not one of the best works in the world ? – besides, a busy person like me – wastes so much time ! With these deadly feelings, I told him_ “Then get up and take the seat, I have kept your seats.” You know – Guruji pretended that he didn’t even listen to my words – I thought that he would pat me on the back, and say_” Thank you!” – but he didn’t even speak a single word – and slowly got into the bus. And the bus left with a lot of smoke in no time. All the reverence and devotion towards him, which I gathered last day, was shattered. Then I just thought “The guy is so arrogant. Ok, so what happened with me? I don’t want to go to the bank of a pond,of which I won’t drink water ( I will never be in touch with him)”. But I had to go back to Him again after returning my house. Why?? It will be explained later…….. [ Translated by a student of class ten of Dhatrigram and corrections made by Ramprasad, a former student of Banagram Ashram]