The episode of ‘Being rebuked’ or ‘The rebuke of Guruji’ was going on. The reason and facts “why everyone was being rebuked ” in this short episode can not be told. It will not be right to tell also. Because, honour of a respectable person is to be always maintained ! “There is no need to spoil anyone’s feelings” – these are the warning words of Thakur Sri Ramakrishna. (Though, I am going to mention the name of Joydeep, because in spite of he is a little younger than me_ we had been together for a long time like a friend ! Moreover, he is not sentimental but very modern, practical and liberal.)
I will mention only a few such incidents here . I was ‘rebuked’ by Him many times.Once, He rebuked me badly in the sitting !
Of course, Joydeep was much responsible for this. Let me tell the story. – – One day in the sitting a gentleman asked Guru Maharaj “What is the Black Hole ?” May be the man saw a discussion on TV about the ‘Black Hole’ but did not understand.
Guru Maharaj said to him _ “Look, you did not understand it by seeing it on TV, then how will you understand if I discuss about it ??”
At this time I was thinking what I heard two or three times from Guru Maharaj about Black Hole. What…what???
He caught my thinking at once in His high frequency antenna(Guruji’s divine power) ! And instantly He said “Oh, there is Sridhar ! Sridhar, you have listened to me about it, now explain all that to him whatever you know !!”
I started mumbling __ !! He said again “You’ve heard a lot about this from me__ so tell him.”
Dear readers, you understand_how that embarrassment fell upon me slowly but steadily !
The gentleman who asked Guruji about Black- Hole, heard a discussion in the previous night about the it on TV. Incidentally the man came to Banagram Ashram next day and joining in the afternoon session’s sitting, asked Guru Maharaj to tell about the ‘Black Hole’. Guru Maharaj was saying him ‘this’ or ‘that’ but didn’t tell the main thing . And on that occasion I bowed my head and wondered what Guru Maharaj had said before about that matter. Instantly Guruji had caught the wave of my thoughts -and immediately said “Sridhar knows about the matter. He has heard about this many times from me”… and so on !
Hearing these words from Guru Maharaj, what could I do then exept mumbling ! Because I was then like a child in front of our great Father Swami Paramananda ! I had a great regard to Him, as I know very well that He knows everything but we know very little about this universe, about our life, about spirituality ! So I couldn’t think about to tell something in front of Him !
But on that day it was His day(We all know__everyday is His day) ! Seeing my mumbling He said – “You have heard a lot about this from me before. Tell him now !” It was my turn to mumble again. I said in a low voice – ‘Ohh! You’re sitting here. I think, I shouldn’t say anything in front of you !” Instantly Guruji said to me – “What? Having trouble to speak in front of Me? Ok. I am turning my face - now say !” Then I had felt my extreme discomfort ! Such a respectable man was asking me to say something repeatedly – but I couldn’t even think “how I’ll start”! So I was taking some time. Meanwhile, Guru Maharaj looked forward again and started saying two or four more harsh words to me ___ and just then Joydeep who was sitting next to me, began to laugh loudly !!
Guruji turned to him in no time and asked – “Hey! Why are you laughing? What makes you laughing?”
Joydeep said – “Guru Maharaj, sometimes you use to do such works- these are like ‘Chinese Tortures’!!” After hearing this ‘term’ Guru Maharaj became irritated in no time. What a grave voice of Guru Maharaj came out then ! His whole face changed immediately and said – “What did you tell just now??? These are chinese tortures??? Do I torture yourselves like that ?? Do you know what the chinease torture is ?? I am telling what it is__in China, suppose a little boy has been caught by his father during his smoking a cigarette, what does the Chinese father step? He calls his relatives, friends and acquaintances home . Then he puts his son in the middle of them, then he opens a pack of cigarettes and tells his son, “Now take a cigarette from here and smoke it in front of everyone !” – It’s called chinese torture !! ___ I treat yourselves like this ?? I told him(me) to explain one thing – and he started going ‘bow-wow’ like a baby dog ! Does he know – what a good luck he has? Will he ever get this chance again? I myself want to make many persons like this. Let them tell answer to people’s questions, let them follow the tradition of questions and answers!! They can’t use these opportunities!!” etc.etc. !!
How much more he told that day like this, there was no limit!!!
Later, of course, He explained the matter of Black-Hole in simple language. But what was my plight that morning ! After being such insulted among a lot of people__ I was thinking, “Mother earth, get half – let’s get me inside you !” I was thinking that the whole sitting looked bitter to me[but, practically it was not. Because all of people’s(present in the sitting) heads were bowed down, as if they all were thinking that the rebuke was for them]. But time never stops- and it consumes everything !
The evening came down soon. It was a great chance to me, as my blackened face could not be opened in front of everyone. But to fulfill the wish of Guru Maharaj – more insults were waiting for me ! I was very friendly with Nagen(of Banagram) then. And I usually went to Nagen’s house, in the morning and in the evening for tea and sometimes for tiffin also. Nagen’s father loved to drink tea much. So, the equipments of making tea were always ready in the varanda of their house. As a result, as soon as I came, he used to address me “Come dear ! Let’s have a cup of tea!”.
As usual I went that evening also. Nagen’s sisters (Shyama, Japo) then read in nine or ten class. [The girls of Banagram used to go to Guru Maharaj almost running, coming back from school and after eating something. A few more years ago (1983/84), when the number of the outsider devotees were very little, they would run to Baba Thakur to compete among themselves who could touch his feet first. Then they would decorate Baba Thakur’s feet with flowers, massage his hands and feet. It was a very nice scene to look at ! Apart from Nagen’s sisters, there were many such girls_ like Aruna, Japani, Tuli, Champa etc. So, Nagen’s sisters were in the sitting that day.] They gathered me. Since I was from the city(Howrah) at that time, and they were village girls, I was a hero a little bit to them as a city boy ! That afternoon, they saw that their hero had become a Zero ! And they saw it, with their own eyes ! They also enjoyed it too much ! In that evening when Japo saw me, then and there she said to me ” Hi, what’s up, Sridhar Da? How did Guruji embarrass you today ? Other times, you used to speak up too much __ and this time you couldn’t say anything to Guruji! What Guruji said __ You are going ‘bow-wow’ like a baby dog ! Ha-ha-ha..!!”
Hey god ! Honour that was left in this house, You took it away also!!! What I was ashamed to the little girls that day ___ is no longer worth mention !! After this incident I could not go to Nagen’s house, next two or three days !!!
[Translated by Rajarsi Basak, a student of class Ten of Dhatrigram and corrected by Ramprasad, a former student of Banagram Ashram.]
I will mention only a few such incidents here . I was ‘rebuked’ by Him many times.Once, He rebuked me badly in the sitting !
Of course, Joydeep was much responsible for this. Let me tell the story. – – One day in the sitting a gentleman asked Guru Maharaj “What is the Black Hole ?” May be the man saw a discussion on TV about the ‘Black Hole’ but did not understand.
Guru Maharaj said to him _ “Look, you did not understand it by seeing it on TV, then how will you understand if I discuss about it ??”
At this time I was thinking what I heard two or three times from Guru Maharaj about Black Hole. What…what???
He caught my thinking at once in His high frequency antenna(Guruji’s divine power) ! And instantly He said “Oh, there is Sridhar ! Sridhar, you have listened to me about it, now explain all that to him whatever you know !!”
I started mumbling __ !! He said again “You’ve heard a lot about this from me__ so tell him.”
Dear readers, you understand_how that embarrassment fell upon me slowly but steadily !
The gentleman who asked Guruji about Black- Hole, heard a discussion in the previous night about the it on TV. Incidentally the man came to Banagram Ashram next day and joining in the afternoon session’s sitting, asked Guru Maharaj to tell about the ‘Black Hole’. Guru Maharaj was saying him ‘this’ or ‘that’ but didn’t tell the main thing . And on that occasion I bowed my head and wondered what Guru Maharaj had said before about that matter. Instantly Guruji had caught the wave of my thoughts -and immediately said “Sridhar knows about the matter. He has heard about this many times from me”… and so on !
Hearing these words from Guru Maharaj, what could I do then exept mumbling ! Because I was then like a child in front of our great Father Swami Paramananda ! I had a great regard to Him, as I know very well that He knows everything but we know very little about this universe, about our life, about spirituality ! So I couldn’t think about to tell something in front of Him !
But on that day it was His day(We all know__everyday is His day) ! Seeing my mumbling He said – “You have heard a lot about this from me before. Tell him now !” It was my turn to mumble again. I said in a low voice – ‘Ohh! You’re sitting here. I think, I shouldn’t say anything in front of you !” Instantly Guruji said to me – “What? Having trouble to speak in front of Me? Ok. I am turning my face - now say !” Then I had felt my extreme discomfort ! Such a respectable man was asking me to say something repeatedly – but I couldn’t even think “how I’ll start”! So I was taking some time. Meanwhile, Guru Maharaj looked forward again and started saying two or four more harsh words to me ___ and just then Joydeep who was sitting next to me, began to laugh loudly !!
Guruji turned to him in no time and asked – “Hey! Why are you laughing? What makes you laughing?”
Joydeep said – “Guru Maharaj, sometimes you use to do such works- these are like ‘Chinese Tortures’!!” After hearing this ‘term’ Guru Maharaj became irritated in no time. What a grave voice of Guru Maharaj came out then ! His whole face changed immediately and said – “What did you tell just now??? These are chinese tortures??? Do I torture yourselves like that ?? Do you know what the chinease torture is ?? I am telling what it is__in China, suppose a little boy has been caught by his father during his smoking a cigarette, what does the Chinese father step? He calls his relatives, friends and acquaintances home . Then he puts his son in the middle of them, then he opens a pack of cigarettes and tells his son, “Now take a cigarette from here and smoke it in front of everyone !” – It’s called chinese torture !! ___ I treat yourselves like this ?? I told him(me) to explain one thing – and he started going ‘bow-wow’ like a baby dog ! Does he know – what a good luck he has? Will he ever get this chance again? I myself want to make many persons like this. Let them tell answer to people’s questions, let them follow the tradition of questions and answers!! They can’t use these opportunities!!” etc.etc. !!
How much more he told that day like this, there was no limit!!!
Later, of course, He explained the matter of Black-Hole in simple language. But what was my plight that morning ! After being such insulted among a lot of people__ I was thinking, “Mother earth, get half – let’s get me inside you !” I was thinking that the whole sitting looked bitter to me[but, practically it was not. Because all of people’s(present in the sitting) heads were bowed down, as if they all were thinking that the rebuke was for them]. But time never stops- and it consumes everything !
The evening came down soon. It was a great chance to me, as my blackened face could not be opened in front of everyone. But to fulfill the wish of Guru Maharaj – more insults were waiting for me ! I was very friendly with Nagen(of Banagram) then. And I usually went to Nagen’s house, in the morning and in the evening for tea and sometimes for tiffin also. Nagen’s father loved to drink tea much. So, the equipments of making tea were always ready in the varanda of their house. As a result, as soon as I came, he used to address me “Come dear ! Let’s have a cup of tea!”.
As usual I went that evening also. Nagen’s sisters (Shyama, Japo) then read in nine or ten class. [The girls of Banagram used to go to Guru Maharaj almost running, coming back from school and after eating something. A few more years ago (1983/84), when the number of the outsider devotees were very little, they would run to Baba Thakur to compete among themselves who could touch his feet first. Then they would decorate Baba Thakur’s feet with flowers, massage his hands and feet. It was a very nice scene to look at ! Apart from Nagen’s sisters, there were many such girls_ like Aruna, Japani, Tuli, Champa etc. So, Nagen’s sisters were in the sitting that day.] They gathered me. Since I was from the city(Howrah) at that time, and they were village girls, I was a hero a little bit to them as a city boy ! That afternoon, they saw that their hero had become a Zero ! And they saw it, with their own eyes ! They also enjoyed it too much ! In that evening when Japo saw me, then and there she said to me ” Hi, what’s up, Sridhar Da? How did Guruji embarrass you today ? Other times, you used to speak up too much __ and this time you couldn’t say anything to Guruji! What Guruji said __ You are going ‘bow-wow’ like a baby dog ! Ha-ha-ha..!!”
Hey god ! Honour that was left in this house, You took it away also!!! What I was ashamed to the little girls that day ___ is no longer worth mention !! After this incident I could not go to Nagen’s house, next two or three days !!!
[Translated by Rajarsi Basak, a student of class Ten of Dhatrigram and corrected by Ramprasad, a former student of Banagram Ashram.]